My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Randomize
