I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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