How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
