Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
