and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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