Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
