Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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