yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
