Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
