I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
