rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
