Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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