At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
