We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
