haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
