Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
