Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
