Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
It's blow job season.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
