she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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