I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
