party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
