As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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