You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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