I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
