Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
