He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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