dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
