Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
My penis needs a shock collar
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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