I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
