We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
