I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
