People with herpes should wear stickers.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
