No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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