is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
