im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
