Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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