Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
