No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i dont even know how to be here
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
