I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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