I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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