people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I lost the right to judge tonight
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
