Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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