My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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