escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
