Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
