My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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