im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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