porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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