New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
