They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
