I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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