Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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