? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
