btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
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